The CBD streets have become my home, my runway. Walking through Monday to Monday working or trying to catch up with my social life. Apologies are now a norm both to my clients and my loved ones……..
‘Ma’am apologies that was an oversight from our end. I will see to it that it is handled and call you back shortly.’
‘Hey dear, sorry…………………it is just one of those days, A rain check maybe?’
I think they get it, at least I hope they do that way I can’t beat myself too much. They say don’t let the world change you instead change the world, you are special, you’re cut for this, you were made for this, I know you can do it. But not all days are these words the sound track to our lives… to my life. Seems like some days am not here, it is like I don’t mean nothing, the vulnerability feels so paranoid and the back of the line feels more familiar.
I have a thousand questions but my answers are way less, I have thousand dreams but my nights are shorter, I have a tens of ideas and a bucket full of excuses, I have less hours in my day and a million things to get through, I have a lot of patience but not for everyone to exploit, I have so much to give but not enough heart to go around. Everything seems to be parallel to each other. They call it working class, I call it a ticking time bomb.
Every day you get a fresh start to do things differently, every day I tell myself I will be better, every day feels like a battle field and every day I feel I am being conformed to people’s commons beliefs. Beliefs I try to run away from to a customized thinking that I believe feels so far but is attainable. To be better, to want more, to live life with more zeal, to love passionately, to care immensely, to do more for everyone around me……………ultimately I want to leave something behind, I want them to remember that I was here.
But right now, it feels like a land slide, like my head is under water, I don’t know how much longer I can hold my breath. So when you can, please let me know I can breathe again………and I can exhale.
Ask. Believe. Receive …………………… Go The Extra Mile.